Dating gender roles

This can be a great opportunity for partners to all dedicate some quality time to really thinking about what sort of dynamics or roles they prefer in a relationship, and why, and figuring out how to make those preferences work for everyone.

If it's not something you've ever discussed with a partner, it might feel odd at first to talk about what can seem like minor details, or hard to know why you prefer things a certain way, but practice makes this easier.

It isn't always logical or predictable how people will interpret gendered cues, and there's only so much anyone can do to nudge friends and strangers towards making the right assumptions or using the correct language.

That said, it's common for trans people to incorporate certain roles or mannerisms into their lives that they might otherwise feel negative or neutral about because they've found that they work as a gendered cue that helps others interpret their gender correctly.

If one person likes it, what do they get out of it?Those may seem like silly questions, but if you have gendered expectations about the answers that are suddenly challenged, or experience gendered roles or expectations in those things that don't fit with your gender, it can lead to conflict.Just as there's no one way for transgender people to act or identify, there's no one set of relationship dynamics that will work for everyone, either.For instance, if you're a cis woman dating a trans guy who is not always read as a guy, you may find yourself dressing or acting more stereotypically feminine because, when you do, you'll notice you and your partner become invisible.If you dress in a less binary way (which could be as simple as jeans and a sweatshirt instead of a skirt and a blouse), you may notice people looking at you and your partner trying to puzzle our what "type" of relationship it is and what gender your partner is.

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