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I specialize in counseling wives of sex addicts, and I often see women who haven’t told anyone about their husband’s addiction, sometimes for months or even years.
The lack of support available to spouses, and often inaccurate information being put out about partners of sexual addicts, can cause a wife to suffer additional trauma and feel like she is partially responsible for her husband’s behavior.
Sexual addiction, an umbrella term which includes pornography addiction, is likely the most harmful addiction when it comes to marriages.
HOCD, Gay OCD, Sexual Orientation OCD, or, if you suffer from it, your own personal nightmare.Since this is a “process addiction,” versus a chemical addiction, it is so hard for wives to understand. There are many different compartments so that he can divide his life up into separate components that don’t touch each other.This lack of understanding can cause numerous misconceptions to be held as truths and can postpone healing. His marriage and family can be in one compartment, his job in another…you get the point.It’s a fear of the “straight” you somehow getting lost in a metamorphosing gay body, never being able to return to that connection you once had with your sexuality and the people you were attracted to, and being held responsible for failing to realize it in time.It has compulsions, many of them covert, easy to rationalize as just “figuring things out” but no less ritualistic than counting to your favorite number while washing your hands in scalding water to ensure you are clean.