Husband chats about sex
I think many homosexuals (particularly those of older generations) are determined not to be gay because of all the prejudices they know they will face. I've cried myself to sleep a couple of times because he can't/won't fuck his wife. At the risk of sounding condescending (which is not my intention) I feel bad for you.
I believe they're sincere in trying to deny their true sexuality and I can only imagine how dificult that is. It sounds like you're trying so hard to rebuild your marriage while he is acting to distance you.
I find just talking to someone helps you to see things a little more clearly.
He wants to have sex with men for the same reason you want to have sex with men: he's ATTRACTED TO MEN.
I want to save my marriage, not do the "easy" thing and give in by leaving.
Ultimately the only person who has a hope of answering the question why your husband is trolling for men is your husband. Unfortunately, from what you say he is hiding things from you, lying and trying to deflect by accusing you of being the one to violate your marriage vows by cheating.
One of the posts I noticed that he'd looked at was one that he posted..his phone number. Also, he accuses me of cheating, or wanting to, and he's tried to trap or entice me by pretending to be someone else, with a different email address. Of course you have no "proof" that he's actually engaged in sexual activity with anyone else, man or woman, but you two aren't really experiencing a monogamous relationship if he's actively sexual with men. You say your sex life is great..that's apparently true for many bi-sexual couples or poly couples. What's up with you that you'd put up with this for two years? I have thought about leaving him, but I think there's something more going on with him..a personality thing. I'm trying to gather some money to go see someone, and hopefully get him to go with me.
In the meantime you will need to find ways to keep yourself sane until he gets there.
If/when it finally does come out it can be tremendously devasting to all involved. There's something else going on, but I can't put my finger on it. Unfortunately, as much as you may want to, you can't do these things unilaterally.
I've done some digging around regarding straight men wanting to have sex with other men. And I'm not ignoring "signs" in order to prevent my marriage from failing. Now I'm not as open, I don't want to have sex with him, I cringe when he touches me. One thing I was forced to accept when I went through my divorce is sometimes you will never receive an answer to why.
Otherwise, it's an elaborate ruse to convince you to dump him, or to cheat on him so he can dump you and still come out looking like the good guy. It's possible (likely, even) that he has some psychological/emotional issues going on, but that doesn't negate the fact that he likes men. My question was regarding why my husband wants sex with other men.
But it might explain the way he's handling it (like a total lying nutjob.) Multiple Personality Disorder is EXTREMELY rare, and your husband would be essentially becoming a different person at certain times outside of his control- if that were the case, you'd have met this personality when "they" couldn't get it up to have sex with you. I believe in doing everything possible to honor my wedding vows. I don't want to hear "dump him" in response to my question, I want help in answering my question.
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Barbara, I'm glad to hear you have a love bond with your husband.